Home > South Beach, Weight Loss > Phase 1, Day 4 – Big Old Cheater

Phase 1, Day 4 – Big Old Cheater

The worst part about cheating is how damn guilty you feel!  I remember when my adorable DH and I decided to give up smoking (over 7 years ago now) – we used the nicotine patch and were finally able to kick the habit after wearing the patch for however long it took.  Then I had to travel for work and rode in my co-worker’s car.  She decided to light up and I remember looking at that pack of cigarettes thinking how easy it would be to just have one.  I wouldn’t have any more than that, I swear.  I know I can stop after just one.  Well, the reason I was able to resist the temptation and stay the course was because I kept thinking of DH.  Somehow, I likened cheating with smoking to having an affair and just knew deep down I didn’t want to do that to him.

Today, I sat in a meeting for 6 hours.  Granted, it was a good meeting – but it was just a long way to spend a day when at one end of the room is a table with a variety of breakfast bars and chocolate treats (e.g. M&Ms, Butterfingers, etc.) displayed so lovingly.  Up until Noon, I was fine.  We decided to order Mexican today in honor of Cinco de Mayo and instead of my usual (the #10 combination – 2 beef tacos, rice, beans), I ordered a taco salad and even promised myself I wouldn’t eat the shell like I usually do.  Well, being Cinco de Mayo the restaurant was very busy and screwed up the delivery order — thus, my salad did not arrive.  But oh, the meeting planner exclaimed, we do have tortilla chips and queso!  Hooray.  So I broke down and had 8 tortilla chips and salsa.  And the guilt began.

My salad came and I dug in.  It had a lot of ground beef, which I’m sure wasn’t exactly lean, but I figured it was better than the carbs in this case.  When I finished, there sat a pretty empty looking shell.  It won’t hurt me to have just a little, I rationalized.  So, I did.  I had 3 pieces of shell.  And the guilt grew.

I saw my darling DH at lunch as he had to talk with one of the meeting participants.  (We work at the same company – have offices right next door to each other, actually.  It is kind of cute.)  He looked at the bowl of candy and I saw his sad little puppy dog eyes.  He has been so very good, I thought to myself.  So, after he went back to his office, I grabbed a snack size bag of M&Ms for me and a snack size Butterfinger for him.  So not only am I a cheater, but I’m an accessory to cheating!  He was pretty happy to get that Butterfinger though 🙂

And as the meeting was about to end, we solved an issue we had been working on all day.  Hooray!  Cheers all around!  And pass the chocolate bowl.  Well, I thought to myself, I’ve already dug myself a hole – one more little snack bag of M&Ms won’t hurt.  Ohhhhh, guilt, guilty, guiltier, guiltaholic – guilty as charged.

But, I’m going to reform myself.  Dinner tonight was a Johnsonville smoked turkey and cheese sausage.  I didn’t even put it on a bun!  That’s pretty unheard of for me.  Usually for sausages/brats, I have to cut the thing in half and eat it on two buns…just so I don’t taste the meat.  (Yes, I have issues.)  Also had plenty of green beans and that Land O Lakes three cheese blend I mentioned a few days ago.  For dessert, my son and I split an apple.  Yes, I know apples are forbidden until Phase 2, but like I’ve said, we’re modifying.

So I head into tomorrow with a greater resolve to do better.  I might even forgo my Fiber One bar in favor of egg substitute and a turkey sausage patty.  Lunch will be a salad and for dinner – I’m really excited – we’re going to have this BBQ chicken recipe from one of the South Beach Diet books.

Weight loss totals so far – I have just lost that 2.5 pounds.  I didn’t even weigh myself today because I’m bloaty from my woman issues.  I figure I might try to do another week of Phase 1 (if that’s even what we’re still doing) to compensate.  My wonderful DH, however, has lost 4 pounds!  I’m so stinking proud of him.  His blood sugar has even been much better than normal.  So tonight I’m going to renew my motivation to do this for our health, so we can be around for our son (and each other) for a long, LONG time.  Off to ride the old exercise bike…

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Categories: South Beach, Weight Loss
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